Mom's wisdom

"Here's the thing about life. You've got to find those fun things to have about life. This is not necessarily fun.
But you've got to find something fun." - Mom, on June 22, 2012.

Friday, July 20

Learning a New "Normal"

Home sweet home!  Mom's been back home a week now, and like every other major venue change during her illness, this one has brought more unique challenges.  We're all so happy she is home, but we have quickly figured out that life isn't going to be what it was before, or even close to that, anytime soon.  We're learning what this new "normal" is supposed to be.

With mom's chest wound still significantly far from healed, there is a home health care nurse that comes daily to change the dressing.  The nurse is a good fit for Mom and Dad, she is a cancer survivor herself, and her husband was her primary caregiver for several months during trying chemo sessions.  She is careful to use plenty of lidocaine before touching the wound, and she provides good assurance and a good example that this is just a step in the healing process.  

We've learned that wine after chemotherapy tastes like salt.  How sad!  Mom has the green light to have a glass, but each different glass she tries doesn't go down like it should.  She truly enjoys her "Ice" drinks from Costco and a semi-iced glass of water.  Milk is also good. But wine, nope. Not yet.  We've said it's a good thing that Napa Valley offers delicious eating options in addition to the wineries.  When Mom and Dad get to go back there, they can eat and drink and both enjoy.  

Jennifer made some good Amazon purchases this week, one was a pretty bell that Mom can ring and summon someone for a drink or snack.  She also bought a room monitor that can alert anyone in the kitchen or den that our favorite patient has awoken from her nap, and it's time to get up and get moving!  These little items will make a big difference.  

Without therapists and 24x7 nurses and patient care techs to help Mom, Dad has been pulling round the clock shifts.  It continues to be an inspiration, to see the devotion he has to her, but it's also heartbreaking to see the toll the lack of sleep is having.  It's hard to always be the one who is "on" call.  It's time for more help.  On Sunday, we have a recommended aide scheduled to come meet our family, and Sara has feelers out to organizations we're learning about who we may be able to use.  We're all hopeful that someone will fit Mom's needs and be able to provide Dad some relief.  It's been a positive shift this week to get Mom and Dad to agree to calling for help. As people who have always been givers, switching to the receiver role is difficult. 

Along that line, tonight we re-opened the Meal Train for Mom and Dad. The meals our friends provided when Mom was first sick were so much appreciated.  Between working and being in the hospital, none of us had time to cook, and you kept us going.  Now that Mom and Dad are back home, and caring for her is a full time job, there's no time that Dad can safely leave to go shopping, Jennifer and Sara need to work, and I can't cook for 7 every night, especially when Mom and Dad need to eat at 530pm.  The early dinnertime is another new routine, important to keep because of sleep patterns and medicines.  

So, if you're inclined to help, the website is Meal Train and if you want, you can sign up for a day to bring dinner to 2 of our most favorite people.  No onions or peppers due to dietary restrictions, but just about anything else will be appreciated.  And will be served with a cold glass of milk for Mom and a coordinating glass of wine for Dad.

Thanks for your continued prayers for healing, especially for Mom's wound, and for Dad's stress levels. 


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