Shifting Fluids

Last Thursday through Saturday, Mom had a really loose rattly cough, and with her weakened state, she just couldn't cough anywhere close to "productively" so it was a rough few days.  We tried lemon/honey throat drops (yuck!), lemon ginger tea (yum), light pounding on her back (feels good), Mucinex (another pill?!), and finally good old fashioned Luden's original menthol.  Whether it was the  $0.96 Luden's purchase, or time, something worked and the cough has ceased. Whew. :)

Equally stressful as the cough, all last week Mom's words were, conservatively, 90% not intelligible.  Yes and no questions work, but many times as she was trying to communicate an independent thought, it came as out as numbers.  65, 12, 21, 18 18 18 18. I wish I had a decoder ring to figure out what all those meant.  I'm sure it would be fascinating. Maybe 18 means "I'm so frustrated I can't get this word out!"

Yesterday mom had a friend from school stop by, she brought a wonderful poem from her son, and together they reminisced about when he was in mom's class, the things she must have told him, the things he obviously remembers...aren't we all like that with a favorite teacher?  It's a rare gift to have a teacher who reaches students so that 10, 15? years later, they still think about the teacher and remember specific scenes from class, basketball games, hallway conversations. The visit was warm and wonderful.

Today, Mom seems to be taking her energy from yesterday's visit an channeling it in to clear speech.  The brain is a wondrous thing...  This can only be explained by the tumor growth, compounded by swelling and fluid buildup. The tumor stays where it is, but the fluid is just that, it moves. So last week when the fluid was (appeared to have been) sitting on the part of her brain that controls speech...today it's not. So we've had these delights.

• "I thought said you did something with your hair."  (Mom looking puzzled, and she is the one who ever tells the truth about how bad my hair frequently looks. This is my mom's real speech!)
• "Great job! You did very well. This is good." (After looking --reading??-- Mary Claire's report card.)
• "He is so funny. He knows what he is talking about! And that man is just plain crazy." (While watching a funny segment on an afternoon talk show.)

And maybe most wonderful, last night during the Packers/Vikings game there was an ad for National Car Rental. After the ad ran, she said quite clearly, "I wish I could go."  And then this is what happened:

Where would you go?

I would go to (gibberish) wine (gibberish)   

Where would you stay?

(gibberish) Bellag, B...(gibberish) 

Dad walks in   Are you saying "Villagio?"  

YES!

What would you drink? 

3, (gibberish), 103

103 glasses of wine?

YES!  

We followed that with the names of Mom and Dad's favorite wineries.  They both enjoyed that conversation, it was a sweet trip down memory lane. We talked about where they would eat, how much they loved the barn doors, how some wineries are too touristy but worth a novice visit, how much they loved the tastings and canapes at Schramsberg. 

The tumor is still there, but the fluid and swelling has apparently shifted, and has given us some relief from the darkness.  It has gifted us a glimpse back to what has been a wonderful part of life. 

Football Sunday

As I've written several times before, football is loved in our family. Friday night lights in high school, college and pro games on weekends.  There's always the noise of the sack, the celebration of the score, the frustration at the flags, the way Romo always runs the play clock down. Seriously, the Cowboys are hard to love but we love them anyway.

With Mom's conditioning worsening, football isn't quite as much fun.  She slept through all of today's games except for the hour or so she and Dad had dinner and watched the Indy-Denver match up.  Her speech is frequently very difficult to understand almost all of the time, and she is frustrated at herself for not getting the words out, and at us for guessing wrong.  I find myself agreeing to a lot of things when I think I got the gist, which is an odd and not great feeling.  

A bright spot:  Mom and Dad enjoyed a visit with long-time friends last week as they stopped by on their way through town.  When we all lived far from our extended families, we spent Thanksgiving and Mothers' Day with them.  Sharing pictures and memories from the 1970's was very special. 

The past few weeks, Dad has grilled some great steaks and of course the good, and occasionally outstanding, wines are always open.  Mary Claire had 2 sleepovers at Grandma and Granddaddy's house this weekend, the first in 18 months, which she loved, and she read her new books to Grandma, which was wonderful time for both of them.  Caroline has shared the fun of her success at her debate tournaments and Catherine the woes of her broken French Horn and her fun at church....all in the way that loving grandchildren do.  Despite the sadness of what's happening in this house, the girls are still growing up and they are sharing as much of that as they can with their grandparents.  They bring welcome little bursts of energy and good cheer.

Still knowing what is happening here is sad, and day to day it's just plain hard.

Thank you!

Mom had a nice birthday this year - thank you to all her friends who stopped by to share cake, stories, laughs, and hugs. Thanks to all of you who sent birthday cards, they have filled up the desk in her room and 2 have even migrated to being tucked into the picture frame, because the desk didn't have enough room. It's wonderful to see the outpouring of love and greetings to Mom, she enjoyed reading notes and thinking about each of you. 

Mom is on hospice care now. She was able to retain the same home care nurse she's had for the last 15 months or so, and that has made the transition to hospice smooth. It's heartbreaking and sad, but it's a slow transition.  The past few weeks she's been resting comfortably, keeping her eyes closed most of the time, but enjoying listening to her tv shows. She's eating well, and the skin tears and bruises from her last hospital visit are mostly healed.  She's not in pain, and doesn't need pain medication, and for that we are very thankful.

For the past several weeks we've had a new daytime caregiver at the house, she is strong and energetic. She looks for ways around the house to help with when Mom is sleeping, and she is a pleasant and confident companion when Mom is awake.  It is a blessing to have her, along with Mom's nurse, on our team. 

This weekend, Mom's brother Ricky and niece Erin are here for a visit. Mom had an excellent day yesterday looking forward to seeing them!  The next few days will be energizing and fun as they share stories and memories together.  

Thanks again for your thoughts and support. 

ps... Dad's birthday is in October if you can help flood the house with more birthday cards :)